Sunday 30th May 2010 (tbc) at CRFC |
| FATBOY SEVENS |
| What is FatBoy 7's ? |
| Interesting Links |
| Contact Us |
345's win the 6th FatBoy Sevens and £3000 is raised for charity.
CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE PICTURES AND VIDEO
Report for 6th Crawley FatBoy Sevens 3rd May 2009
Sunday 3rd May aain saw around 18 tons of not so well rippled muscle take to the field to contest the coveted Crawley FatBoy Sevens Rugby Trophy in aid of the charity CHASE.
This annual rugby event, whilst being open to all, is aimed at the older more portly athlete.
All players take to the scales before playing and points are awarded for and against every kilo they are above or below 102 and for every year they are above or below 35. All under age and underweight players are required to wear fancy dress.
Some of the more seasoned “light-weights” were using cash bribes to buy themselves some extra kilos during the weigh-in.
The younger sides that entered found that being in their teens and only about 65 kilo each made a win against the older FatBoys almost impossible when starting most games 55-0 down due to the handicap.
The young Crawley “118118” side carried out some pre event fund raising and used the cash to bribe the judge in order to reduce their handicap, which helped them through to the Trophy Semi-final. They losed this when a period of extra time failed to decide a winner and a foot race was ordered between the largest players from each side.
Most games on the main pitch were played with a giant size rugby ball, it was sad to see that many players still struggled to catch a ball that was two feet long.
The Jug final was won by Fatscray after they narrowly beat the FD Tigers and Arun became winners of this years Plate.
The Tournament winners were a team aptly named The 345’s as they consisted of only front row and second row forwards. Their opponents “The Seven Stadlen’s” parted with a large amount of cash to level the starting scores of the final, but to no avail and they had to settle for second place.
The Most Valuable Player this year was local businessman Gary Larkin whose company “Porkies Wholesale Caterers” donate most of the food for the event.
Many thanks again go out to the referee’s, the medical staff, those that helped behind the scenes and to everyone that donated raffle prizes.
Thanks to the generosity of everyone involved we will be handing a cheque over to CHASE (Children’s Hospice Association) in the region of £3000, which is not a bad effort for a load of old fat fella’s running around a field making fools of themselves.
The Trophies this year were sponsored by the CRFC Youth Section.
This years Hog roast was sponsored by “BenchMark Reprographics” and an Associate.
The Teams that took part 2009.
FD Tigers
Cranbrook Rugby Athletic Players
FatsCrays
Barbarian Biftas
St Mary’s University (The team that Paid their money but failed to show....again)
Bedford And Sheringham Tubby And Round Development Squad.
345’s
Blubber Buckets
The Chairman’s Selection
Explosive Fatties (TNT)
St Francis Once Fat
St Francis Twice as Fat
The G-Lost Boys
The Fat Jermains
Got Your Number
The Seven Stadlens
Pulborough RFC
Arun
Octopvs
If your team is not on the list then get them entered ASAP.
Due to the lack of sponsors this year, any raffle prizes would be appreciated (all goes to charity)
Download your application and Gift Aid forms now
DOWNLOADS
2009 Application Form
Gift Aid Form
2009 Invitation
2009 Poster
Enter using PayPal or Credit card
A brief outline of the rules?
Squads of ten recommended but not adhered to.
Weigh in will commence at 9:30 with the 1st games starting around 10:30
All players under the subscribed weight (100kg) AND age (35) are required to wear fancy dress (preferably some form of feminine attire)
Points will be awarded for weight and age above the entrance criteria and deducted from players failing to meet it. This will be averaged from your squad and multiplied by 7 to give your team handicap.
Bribes are accepted to buy back points.
Any player gaining points under this handicap system will be required to play at least one half of every game.
Players may be withdrawn or added throughout the day but must go to the scales and be official registered / de-registered.
Any player discovered playing without registering will forfeit their side 20 points for that game.
We will play 4 pools of 4 (when possible)and then go into the knockout stages to contest Tournament Winners, Plate Winners and Jug Winners.
Games will be 7 mins each way with 1 min half time.
Try scorers MUST take their own conversions which can be from either side of the posts.
A Giant Rugby Ball can be used by mutual consent of both teams.
In the unlikely event of a tied game sudden death extra time will be played (next try the winner)
In the event of a points draw in the pool competion, the deciding factor will be that the HEAVIEST team will go through. Points scored will not be taken into consideration in these tie breaks.
In the event of their being no weight difference the tie will be broken by a foot race between the 2 heaviest players from each side over the length of the pitch whilst picking up a ball from half way. The heavier man will be given 1 m head start for every kilo difference in weight. Any player choosing to do this naked will be given an extra 50 m start. ( We are confident that it will never get this scarey).
Any side showing a level of skill deemed superior to the nature of this competition will be fined accordingly.
The organiser reserves the right to change the rules as he sees fit during the competion in order to raise money for the charity.
Get some fund raising underway to be able to bribe the judges on the day.
Sutton Hags and Wags were last years tournament winners AND also the major fund raisers .
The supported charity can be viewed at www.chasecare.org.uk
Food will be on sale all day.
The Bar and Beer tent will be open while the have customers until the normal evening lights out.
PLEASE BE AWARE: Crawley is an alcohol free zone which means that only alcohol purchased from Crawley Rugby Club may be consumed within the club grounds. This is a local Bylaw which is enforced by Crawley Borugh Council.
Please bring a raffle prize if at all possible.
PLEASE MAKE ALL YOUR PLAYERS AWARE THAT ALL PROFITS MADE FROM OUTSIDE THE CLUBHOUSE (excluding beer tent) WILL GO TO THE CHARITY.
GET DOWN THE BAKERS AND START TRAINING NOW IN THE ONLY APPROVED MANNER.
KEEP EATING THOSE PIES.
...............................
LAST YEARS EVENT. 25TH MAY 2008
SUTTON SLAPPERS ATE ALL THE PIES
Around £4000 was raised.
2008 ALL PICTURES (Takes about a minute to load on broadband)
2008 TEAM PICTURES
CHAIRMANS v St FRANCIS TWO
EXPLOSIVE FATTIES v EDENBRIDGE
INTERNATIONAL BARBARIANS v FATSCRAY
SHERINGHAM H.I.T.S. v BARCELONA REJECTS
TIE BREAKER
SMURFS v St FRANCIS TWO
SMURFS v SEVEN STADLENS
DORKING v SUTTON SLAPPERS
SUTTON SLAPPERS v SEVENS STADLENS
BARCELONA REJECTS v SEVEN STADLENS
RACKSPACE v St FRANCIS ONE
EDENBRIDGE v St FRANCIS TWO
OTHERS
AROUND THE GROUND
THE FINAL
PRESENTATIONS
Apologies for to any sides that were missed in the photo's
IF YOU HAVE ANY PICS PLEASE LET ME HAVE THEM FOR PUBLISHING.
Full size electronic photographs available on request.
Well done everyone, and a big thank you to all the helpers from the club and junior sections.
A special thank you to the girl bakers and Ken the Pig Man and his friends.
A massive THANK YOU to this years sponsors:
KELTBRAY
PJ Brown
Porkies
Martin Joyce
Chertsey Plant Hire
The Plough
The Royal Oak
A brief report of the 2008 event
5th Crawley FatBoy Sevens 2008
“Sutton Slappers” win at 5th attempt.
Sunday 25th May saw about 20 tons of not so well rippled muscle take to the field to contest the coveted Crawley FatBoy Sevens Rugby Trophy in aid of the charity CHASE.
This annual rugby event, whilst being open to all, is aimed at the older more portly athlete.
All players take to the scales before playing and points are awarded for and against every kilo they are above or below 102 and for every year they are above or below 35. All under age and underweight players are required to wear fancy dress.
The young side from Dorking that entered found that being in their teens and only about 60 kilo dripping wet made a win against the older FatBoys almost impossible when starting most games 55-0 down due to the handicap.
They entered into the spirit of the event and gave very good accounts of themselves losing several grass skirts along the way. They almost made it to the Jug final narrowly losing a tie break that was decided by a foot race over 100m contested by the heaviest player from each side, the heavier man getting a 1 metre start for every kilo difference in weight. With the Crawley Chairman’s champion getting an 80 metre start the crowd clubbed together and purchased the Dorking lad some extra time by moving the Crawley man back another 20m and raising £100 in the process.
Crawley “Smurfs” enlisted the help of 80 year old “Papa Smurf” who had to play one half of every game to keep within the tournament rules. He did this admirably with the help a chair, the referee’s agreed to overlook the offside rule for him.
The pool games were heavily contested throughout the morning and the tournament judge’s pockets became heavy collecting bribes from sides eager to reduce their starting deficits.
“Sutton Slappers” set the standard by making the first bribe of £10 per point, a standard most other sides struggled to match. The Sutton lads do a lot of fund raising prior to the event each year in order to bribe the judge and over the past two events have contributed over £4000 to this charity event.
Most games on the main pitch were played with a giant size rugby ball, it was sad to see that many players still struggled to catch a ball that was two feet long.
Many thanks go out to the referee’s that return every year to support this event and even take part in costume, sometimes making it difficult to spot them amongst the novelty costumes worn by the players.
Voluntary donations were made during the day by injured players grateful for the excellent medical attention from our medical team lead by Kay Wheeler, who supports this event annually without charge.
The finals were contested late in the afternoon with “Crawley Chairman’s” winning the Jug final, St Francis taking the Plate final and “Sutton Slappers” taking the main trophy of the day by narrowly beating “Barcelona Rejects” and being declared Champion FatBoys for 2008.
Many, many thanks go to all that helped behind the scenes and also to KELTBRAY, Porkies, PJ Brown, M Joyce, Chertsey Plant Hire for sponsoring this event.
Thanks to the generosity of everyone that took part on the day and the help of our sponsors we will be handing a cheque over to CHASE (Children’s Hospice Association) for around £4000, not a bad effort for a load of old fat fella’s running around a field making fools of themselves.
The following teams did battle on Sunday 25th May 2008
Sheringham High Idle TeacherS
St Mary's RFC (FAILED TO SHOW)
St Francis One
St Francis Two
Barcelona Rejects
RackSpace
Sutton Slappers
Chairmans Select
The Smurfs
Seven Stadlens
Seven More Stadlens
FatsCray
Dorking RFC
Explosive (TNT) Fatties
Edenbridge RFC
THANK YOU TO ALL YOU PIE EATERS.
In 2007 over £6500 was given to CHASE from this event and it's supporters.
Sunday 27th May 2007
A FANTASTIC DAY MARRED ONLY BY THE WEATHER.
Total amount given to CHASE was a fantastic £6420.50 Many thanks must go to the Sutton Wags and Hags that were able to bribe the judge on the day with around £2500. The money was raised with some pre-event fund raising. A further £320 of pledges has also been given to the hospice on their behalf with reference to this event. WELL DONE.
A special thanks to all our sponsors (more details to follow).
View this years photos to witness the legendary skills of the following teams
Bristol Allsorts, AylesfordsNot So Spring Boks, London Scottish RFC, Westcliff RFC, St Francis RFC, St Francis Barbarians, Seven Stadlens, Sittingbourne Relics Society, Fatscray RFC, Inflatable Fatties CRFC, Cheltenham Civil Service RFC, Shoreham RFC, Dorchester RFC, WestCombe Waddlers, Sutton Hags, Sutton Wags, Benenden Big Boys, Bobby Peelers FlatFoot Seven, Hellingly Loonies, Chunky RoadRunners, Pentasia Living the Dream Seven, CRFC Chairmans Select, Transvestites R Us, Bull'S hitters, Perky's Piglets, Emons LadyLads, X Factor Fatboys, St Francis 2's,
Click here for LAST years tongue in cheek Flash site (broadband users)
View the photos from the last years event
If you do miss out on our event here is another that's starting to use the scales
--------------------
Crawley FatBoy Sevens 2006
By Silver ...Photos by Moo
St FRANCIS ATE ALL THE PIES.
Sunday morning saw around 18 tons of ripple-less muscle and wobbly buttocks turn up to play the Crawley Fatboy Sevens Rugby Tournament at Willougby Fields in an attempt to raise money for Christopher’s Children’s Hospice
The tournament is designed for the older less athletic player and has a handicap system which favours them. Players are awarded 0.3 points (for or against) for each year they are above or below 35 years of age. They are also awarded 0.5 points (for or against) for each kilogram they are above or below 102 kg (16 stone in English). This attempts to ensure that a team of 60 year old players with well above average cellulite content should be able to beat the Fijian National team.
The Weigh in
As each player took to the scales to be given a handicap they could also claim some bonus points valued according to the hilarity of any costumes that they wore.
All players that were both under 35 years and 102 kg were required to wear fancy dress, and apart from Spiderman they all seemed to favour ladies attire. This helps to confirm the fact that this event is the finest rugby sevens tournament for lumbering old men and transvestites.
Pool rounds
The 16 teams were split into 4 pools of 4 and the games began at just after 11.00 am after a warm up of several bacon rolls and a glass of their favourite tipple. The pool games were used to build up an appetite for the lunch time Hog Roast and also to split the groups for the final stages in the afternoon.
The pool stages soon proved that the younger lighter teams were going to struggle with their handicaps. Shoreham in particular found that winning a game against the old lumbering teams in their pool was an impossible task and tried repeatedly to bribe the judges, a ploy that almost worked in the later rounds. Crawley Trany’s also struggled and became very frustrated as their tights gained more and more ladders, their make up became smudged and one of them even broke a nail.
The Chairman’s side were fined £5 and given a 20 point disadvantage when they smuggled on an unregistered player dressed in a Sumo costume, an on the pitch medical confirmed the player to be female. She was asked to leave the field of play but later returned to administer first aid to an injured player by way of a hand to mouth burger break.
Knockout stage
After a lunch of several hog rolls, burgers and beer, the afternoon knockout round began. The eight sides contesting the main trophy contained mainly teams that have taken part in the competition before and understood how to pick a well balanced side that worked well within the handicap system, lots old fat men with a splattering of youth and even the odd old fit guy.
Paddies Porkers made the Trophy Semi final by having the better handicap in their game against Benemden Big Boy’s. Both teams scored 24 points in this quarter final and it was only the few extra fatties that got them through.
The other quarter finals were very close affairs with Haywards Heath beating Hellinglly Loonies by 8 points after starting 23-0 down, one Heath player offered to play the match naked in an attempt to lower the staring score but his team members said that they would rather start 100 points down than have to suffer the horror of what he was intending to uncover. St Francis A finished 3 points up on Westcliff after a 5-0 start and Crawley Chairman’s managed to stay just 2 points in front of East Grinstead after beginning the game with a massive 36 point lead.
Crawley Chairman’s then met Paddies Porkers in the Semi and were tied at full time. The tie was broken by playing up to 3 further minutes of extra time with the first scorers being pronounced the winners. It was while the Chairman’s were discussing the merits of getting in the bar for a drink that Porkers seized the moment to run in the winning try after only 8 seconds of extra time.
The Trophy Final turned out to be a local derby with Paddies Porkers playing St Francis A. Porkers play out of the host club and St Francis from a small hut situated somewhere on Southgate playing fields, also in Crawley.
This was the 3rd time the Porkers have made the final and they were dismayed with the 23 point advantage awarded to the Saints. There were mutterings of a handicap enquiry but as this would have cost a great deal of cash the judges were never officially approached, and as Porkers have won this event on the two previous occasions, would have been a total waste of their money.
The final was a musical affair with hey fatty bum bum lip up fatty and I like the way you move accompanying the many try’s that were scored, but on the final whistle it was St Francis A team that held the lead and were justifiably crowned this years FatBoys.
The plate competition was left with only 3 teams when Holbrook lost some players suffering with indigestion which forced the organiser to sell a bye into the final. Sutton Bouncers snapped up the chance of a free ride into the Plate final for £5, not to be outdone; Fatscray and Westcombe Park paid £5 each for the right to play each other in the semi. Sutton Bouncers went on to win the Plate final beating Westcombe Park with assistance from the handicap.
The Jug competition saw the three younger lighter sides, St Francis B, Shoreham and Crawley Trany’s taking on Aylesford 5th who by their own confession have always been to old, to fat and skill-less to play sevens. Shoreham bribed the judge with £30 to lower their starting handicap by 30 points, but it was only fair that Aylesford be given the right to respond. They did so admirably by re-bribing the judge with £50 to restore their starting score against Shoreham to 54-0 in Aylesford’s favour. This ploy managed to secure them victory in the Jug Final, for which they received a Jug of beer as their reward.
Big ball
All the play off competitors were offered the opportunity to play their matches with a giant size rugby ball and many of them took this up which again added to the hilarity of the day. It is with much sadness I need to add that even with a ball two feet long some of the players
still managed to drop it.
MVP
There was an award for the Most Valuable Player which went to Goose. His solo effort of combining his age and weight earned his team a massive 36 point start just by stepping on the pitch.
He also contributed to the charity a further £70+ in fines collected from a golf day that he organised, and yet again by donating a brand new London Wasps Shirt which he managed to get signed by all the Wasps squad.
This shirt was auctioned off after the finals and was won by a telephone bidder for a fantastic £250,….. Thanks Donna from Haywards Heath. Amongst other items auctioned was a £5 gift voucher that was won and re-donated several times making it worth around £30 to the charity.
Everyone that attended this event was absolutely magnificent with their support throughout the day. Fines were issued for many things, bringing your own food and drink; playing football at a rugby club, wearing catching gloves on the field of play, using the water sport facility (jumping in the river), not dancing, dancing badly and many more and these were paid straight away without question.
Two Haywards Heath players fined themselves for playing for Haywards Heath. Another player was fined for turning up at the wrong rugby club,……which wasn’t even a rugby club, but my house.
Sussex Referee’s Society supplied the refs which did an excellent job in officiating the day’s proceedings. It was fantastic that they all took on the spirit of the day with the final be officiated by a strange looking toff in an outfit last seen in 1823 when William Webb Ellis first picked up the ball and ran with it. Little did he know then of the horrors that would be created in an event that is becoming internationally known as the Crawley FatBoy Sevens
The whole event raised money for the Chase Foundation which supports Christopher’s Children’s Hospice. (www.chasecare.org.uk)
And thanks to the overwhelming generosity of all in attendance the net profit to be passed to Chase is £1400. A breakdown of this will be posted soon, along with a photo gallery of the day.
Many, many thanks to all of you that volunteered you services for the day, without you this fantastic day out for lumbering old men and their transvestite friends would not have been possible.
Next years event will be held on Sunday 27th May 2007 and anybody wishing to take part or sponsor this event, in anyway at all, should contact Steve Silver 07973 192318. Owners of bouncy castles, hog roasters, raffle prizes, t-shirt manufacturers, printers, weight-watchers and Slimfast to name but a few. We would dearly love to be able to weigh a whole team in one go so if you can help please contact the organiser.
Anyone interested in joining Crawley Rugby Club as either a playing or social member can get more details from www.crawleyrfc.co.uk , by calling the clubhouse (01293) 533995 or by just turning up.
Crawley run teams from under 8’s all the way up to the just breathing FatBoys.
The first Crawley FatBoySevens took place on Sunday 23rd May 2004.
It was a huge success for lumbering old men and also for the charity that they support
(By Steve Silver)
Sunday 23-05-04
A HANDICAPPED EVENT FOR THE LESS ATHLETIC OLDER PLAYER.
Out of 16 teams entered only one failed to turn up without giving notice and with one other side pulling out on the Thursday prior to the event a barbarians team was hurriedly assembled but this now meant that Crawley, the host side, now had a larger presence in the tournament now fielding 3 teams.
The weigh in took longer than expected but flowed quite smoothly.
Most sides suddenly realized that the few younger and lighter player's brought along were going to be a severe handicap.
With the bench mark set at 16 stone and 35 years of age as a zero point handicap the light 28 year olds were giving away 30 to 40 points each losing 2pts per year and 5pts per half stone.
Those that arrived in fancy dress were suitable reimbursed, but for Sutton and Epsom's Under Sexies (named as they all coach the Under 6's team) being dressed as ‘ugly old ladies of the night’ was still not enough to get them below a minus 40-point start. They did however manage to make the semi-finals and were marginally beaten by the eventual winners of the tournament.
It was sometimes hard to pick out the referee during their games as he too had entered into the spirit of the day by turning up drag.
Two auctions were furiously contested during the weigh in when Antonio, a 28 stone 38 year old Italian giant turned up without a side to play for and clutching £200 in entrance donations.
He was snapped up to play for the ladies of Sutton and Epsom for an outrageous sum of money and may have been a contributing factor in the length of time they stayed in the competition
The second auctioned player 'Mr Richardson' (a 70 years young 20 stoner) was snapped up for £50 by Shoreham to try and ease the minus 119 point burden they accrued. Mr Richardson's wife later donated the first prize she won in the raffle to auction, which raised a further £100.
Hellingly Loonies were to be a tough side to beat as they turned up with most of their players meeting the qualifying criteria but unfortunately for the other sides proved to be the only Fit Fat Boys unlike most other teams that spent a lot of time analyzing the merits of a third 'hog roll' and a pint before weighing in
East Grinstead turned up with what they thought was a well rounded side of lumbering old men and were so dismayed with the amount of handicap points awarded to the ringers that they tried to sneak past the scales, that they promptly sent out for a set of antlers to each play in, this ploy managed to return them with around 20 points. For them though this was not enough, as the prospect of watching the cup final in the bar became a more favored option than progressing into the knockout finals of our competition.
Crawley’s Chairman’s Select side needed to issue their opposite numbers with sunglasses before each game as their fluorescent orange shirts they had specially made were blinding to say the least. They arrived keen to win the tournament but the chairman’s weight of 10 stone-wringing wet proved a slight handicap along with the draw of the bar showing the big match.
It was during their game with the Norfolk Arm’s that a 25 stone prop from each side decided to take on a chair each and sit down for a chat rather than run around it the mid day sun.
With Haywards Heath’s two teams, Royal Sun Alliance, Norfolk Arms, Greenwich, Reigate and Saint Francis all fielding older Fat Boys there has been a call to give more bonus points for players above the qualifying weight and age presently 5pts bonus over 20 stone, 5pts over 50 years old and 10pts over 65, a request that will probably be put in place next year.
It was good to see a side from Oxted and Godstone take part, as it was from them that the idea of the Crawley Fat Boy Sevens came about as they used to run a similar tournament many years ago.On receiving their handicap they offered to field a player on crutches to try and reduce it and give them some hope of winning a game.
They have offered some new ideas for the handicap system, which will also be considered for next year’s event.
The final game of the day came down to a playoff between two Crawley sides (to the embarrassment of the organizer) and Crawley Lights started with a one-point lead over The Barbarians.
It was closely fought throughout with ‘superman’ and ‘superwoman’ finding their latex costumes to be a bad choice given the heat of the day, but a couple of late tries saw the Lights win by 32 –19.
The final might have been marred slightly when the ugly old hags of Sutton and Epsom shed their garments and streaked. It was then we realized that we had been duped and they were in fact just fat ugly old men but the £220 raised for the streak eased what could have been a traumatic experience for many!
The winner’s were presented with their trophy and a 2-foot high chocolate bunny by Crawley’s England Internationals, Steve Bloxham (England Deaf) and Helen Chapman (England U/19 Women).
The standard of rugby turned out to be as expected for the older, less athletic player but did achieve the unexpected in that it was aired on the TV amongst reports of the Heineken Cup.
For me one of the most disturbing sights of the day was to see the huge Builder’s Bum of a St Francis player shown to a national audience. Not Pretty!
Everyone enjoyed the day with all the sides promising to return next year.
The amount collected for the Children’s Hospice Association ‘CHASE’ looks to be in the region of £2500 following a generous donation from a local landlord and an auction for an England shirt signed by all the Harlequin player’s involved in Jason Leonard’s last game. The shirt was donated by a Crawley club member, won by another member, and promptly donated to the club,……. Thanks Goose.
Given that the tournament was only expected to raise £1000 in its conception, the actual sum raised proved what a great success the day was, thanks to the generosity of all that attended
The organization of the event only started 6 weeks ago and the level of interest generated has prompted the organizer Steve Silver to begin arranging next year’s event immediately.
www.crawleyrfc.co.uk
The supported charity can be viewed at www.chasecare.org.uk
To just view the photographs of the day with the option to purchase go to www.antbliss.com
Tel:+447973 192318 Fax:o Email:steveasilver@aol.com
Copyright © 2010
| Crawley RFC |